Nothingness

Nothingness.

That's the best way to describe how I feel right now and the past few days. I don't know what/who causes it and where it comes from, I just woke up one day with it.

I'm uninspired. I don't have the drive to engage in conversations, meet people, read, work, be on Twitter, or even SHOP (can you imagine?!).

I don't have the thirst and the gusto for things, for life.

I even lacked the enthusiasm to make a Have You Ever Said These Words? Thursdays post.

I sometimes find myself discombobulated and I think that's a good thing because I have things to sort out and issues to solve but--not around emptiness. Not around nothingness.

There are no mess, no problems, no conflicts, no puzzles, no mayhem, no chaos. Just nothingness.

And it scares the shit out of me.

Unresponsive

Nine days. The e-mail has been sitting in my inbox for nine days already. Unreplied to.

But what do you say to a former significant other who you had a fall-out and never had any communication with for the last six months?

You tell me.

2010 Last Quarter's Ponders and Wonders

My work contract ends in exactly 10 weeks and a day from today.

I'm excited and nervous at the same time and I really don't know what's going to happen next .

I feel that I need to take this leap to grow more as a person, to rediscover myself and the world around me. I want to experience first hand what people say about loving what you do, because these past few years I find myself doing my job mechanically. My heart's not just into it. It could be because of the restrictions of the country I'm currently at, it could be the people I'm working with, it could be just me.

So, I'm taking this risk to save my sanity.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

The good news is, I get to have a breather (for only my pocket knows how long). I'm looking forward to some really good times:

• My brother and I will have this Singapore trip in October. I can't wait to travel, eat hawker food, and explore the city with him.

Singapore Tourist Map

• I'd get to spend more time with my best-est friends (my 3 sisters and a brother) while I'm on vacation. I don't know about you but I like hanging out with my siblings. Movies, shopping, running, caffeine fixes, eating out, swimming. The list goes on.

• This year, I'm staying at my Pops's house. I've gone through unfriendly-rebel-stages with him when I was younger but I know that I will always be a Papa's girl. I want to take care of him this year.

• I'm also traveling to see my grandma and the sugar city. My hometown is one of my favorite places on earth. I get to look back on my childhood, reconnect with relatives and old friends from grade school. I'm looking forward to checking out some of the city's tourist spots that I haven't been to.

The City Hall at night

• Spanish classes. Yay! I'm finally signing up for classes after I've postponed it last year.

• I'd get to see great friends and catch up with them.

• Me time. I'm having this time off to step back and look at the bigger picture, to set my priorities straight, to contemplate on things, to take care of myself (start to be physically active since I've gained weight over the past few months).

Will update the list if anything comes up.

I'm nervous, yet I'm excited.

It's going to be a great last quarter.

Have You Ever Said These Words? Thursdays: Have Your Parents Ever Said These Words?

How does Have You Ever Said These Words? Thursdays work?

Every Thursday, I basically blog about things that I have said/wish I could've said/want to say to people at certain moments and in some cases, may include things other people around me say. Could be witty, hilarious, heart-breaking, whatevs. Please feel free to share your own H.Y.E.S.T.W. Thursdays.

Have a great Thursday wherever you are! :)

ON THE PHONE WITH MY POPS




ME: Hi Pops! Can you give me your exact home address because I need to send some stuff over.

POPS: Who are you?

ME: It's me. Your daughter, remember?!

EPIC FAILURE

*note that my Pops isn't senile dementic nor has any amnesia

Vanilla, Watermelons and BlackBerry

If you too think that the BlackBerry is your OTHER bestfriend, hit (or scan?) me up on your BBM. Here's my barcode. TTYL!

Road To Vegan Bella

It all started when an ex boyfriend told me that I was gaining weight back in May 2009. I stopped eating beef then because I wanted to cut down on my calorie intake ( note that February of the same year I've already gotten rid of pork because I don't get to eat them from where I'm at so it was just the right thing to do). I did some more research and what was once a weight loss regimen turned my curiosity to vegetarianism and veganism,animal rights and ethical issues. By the end of last year, I have given up chicken which I thought was going to be hard since I loved it so much. It turned out to be a cakewalk. I did (and still do) a lot of online navigation and some book readings (i.e. The Skinny Bitch Diet) till I found myself one day almost hurling at the stench of corned beef being served at the hospital's cafeteria. That was it for me! The day I've decided I wanted to be a vegan someday.

I find that the hardest thing for me to give up is seafood. It's just so damn HARD. I call myself as an end-stage pescetarian because I still couldn't get fish out of my system but I'm getting there. I want to get there.

I don't have seafood everyday now. Slowly, I'm doing it.

I take veganism like religion, faith, beliefs, and principles. I do share what advantages I gain from it when I'm asked but I never force it on people.


Here are just some of my yummy grubs:

Vegan Burrito with Soya Cheese

Portobello Mushroom Burger

Spicy Thai Red Cabbage Salad

Vegan Pad Thai

Traditional Spanish Lentils

Stir-Fried Veggies and Tofu

Farfelle Pasta and Peas in Organic Marinara Sauce